You and Your Self-Image
Pastor David L. Brown, Ph.D.
© January 2000
INTRODUCTION
A BIBLICAL FOUNDATION
A BIBLICAL VIEW OF SELF
ONE KEY CAUSE OF SELF-IMAGE PROBLEMS
At
the root of many of the problems we face today is the failure to develop an
appropriate self-image. I believe that!
In
order to be happy, well adjusted and capable of loving others and reaching out
to others you must love, accept, forgive and feel good about yourself we are
told by many in the Christian and secular community. I don't believe that!
Self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-concept and self-image are key topics in
secular and Christian counseling today. If you doubt it, just start reading
Christian authors on how to handle the problems of life. The fact is, if you
assume the Rogerian prevarication (false-hood) is true, that you must love and
accept yourself before you can love and accept others; that accepting yourself
and forgiving yourself is a must for a happy, successful life, then you will
respond to the problems of life is a way that will only compound those problems.
So what is the answer? As with every area of life we must go to the Bible in
order to get a biblical appraisal of ourselves.
As
a foundation, we need to understand that the Bible neither commands nor
encourages self-love & self-acceptance but in fact restricts it. Turn to Luke
9:23-24 -- And
he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life
shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save
it. In fact, we are clearly told that perhaps the most conspicuous
characteristic of the last days is self-love. 2 Timothy 3:1-2a emphatically states this fact --
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For
men shall be lovers of their
own selves... The humanistic
doctrine of self-love is not of the Lord. If it is not of the Lord, what is the
origin? I believe 1 Timothy 4:1 gives
us the answer -- Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall
depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
Some Christians are startled when I ascribe today's teachings on self-image
with demons. Why, because so many of us have bought into the counterfeit. I did!
What
should the Christians "self-image" be? Paul told the believers at Rome
that they should not think to highly of themselves. He wrote, I beseech you
therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living
sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And be
not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 3 For I say, through the grace given
unto me, to every man that is among
you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think;
but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the
measure of faith. Romans 12:1-3
I
was listening to one of the major AM stations this week and one of the
commercials was for Dr. Wayne Dyer’s new book YOUR SACRED SELF. I could tell from the commercial that the book
presents man as a proud, self-sufficient, even divine being. Sadly, if the past
is any indicator, this New Age author's book will be sold in many
"Christian" bookstores. Christians will buy it, read it, believe it
and think of themselves too highly. In fact, there are many people, even
Christians, who pump up their self-image using PMA (positive mental attitude),
positive self-talk and visualization rather then encouraging themselves in the
Lord (1 Sam. 30:6). God takes a dim view of pride. James 4:6 But
he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but
giveth grace unto the humble. Nebuchadnezzar found out what can happen to
those who think too highly of themselves. Daniel
4:30-31 The king spake, and said, Is not this great Babylon, that I have built
for the house of the kingdom by the
might of my power, and for the honour
of my majesty? 31 While the word was
in the king's mouth, there fell a voice from heaven, saying, O king
Nebuchadnezzar, to thee it is spoken; The kingdom is departed from thee.
- We are to have a humble
appraisal of ourselves.
Just
as Christians should not think of themselves too highly, neither should they hold too low of an estimation of
themselves.
When you get through the facade, people who take this route are usually
discontented with themselves. Further, I often find that they are bitter at
others or angry with God because of the circumstance they are in, what they
don't have or the way God made them. If that is the case, they are sinning.
I
can identify with those who struggle with this. When I was a teenager I had bad
acme. I had what was called cystic acme. My face and back are scarred because of
it. Though I loved sports, especially basketball, I dreaded playing it in gym
class because we played shirts and skins. And guess what? It never failed, I'd
end up on the skins team and the kids would tease me about my acme. That was bad
enough, but what really hurt was what my grandmother said to me one day in front
of the rest of the family. She told me I should go to the chicken coup and pick
the white off the chicken feces and put it on my pimples. Talk about a blow to
my self-image! At first I was angry, perhaps even bitter. Not to mention being
self-conscious. But, after a while I decided, there was nothing more I could do
about the problem. I had prayed, I was eating right, seeing the skin doctor
every other week and taking my medication. It was not working! Matthew
6:27 comes to mind -- Which of you by
taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? I could not change my
skin problems any more than a short man can add 18 inches to his height. I
decided I had a choice to make. Either
I could pull into my shell, worry about the problem, resent the Lord for making
me this way, adopt a rebellious attitude and hate everyone who said anything. Or,
I could get on with my life. By God's grace, Philippians
4:11b was the way I chose. "I
have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
Do
you want to know something? I was much happier when I decided to make the best
of it. After sitting out two basketball seasons because I was worried what
others would think, I went out for the team and made it. Now, nothing changed as
far as my acme was concerned. What changed was my attitude and my focus. When
that changed and I quit loving myself so much I could overlook the cruel things
others said and go on with life, using the gifts and talents the Lord gave. I
found that if you do what you are capable of doing, what God expects you to do
you feel good. But, if you are sinning through bitterness, self-pity, anger,
envy, etc. sinful behavior produces bad feelings, even bad feelings about
yourself. Friends, the solution is to confess the wrong behavior as sin and
replace it with right behavior. Then the joy will be restored (Psalm 51).
Though
we will look at a "bad self-image" more in depth next, I am
convinced that a bad self-image stems
from bad feelings a person experiences when God convicts him of sins such as
self-pity, self-centeredness, self-focus and self-indulgence and he refuses to
repent, and do what he knows the Bible says he should do. On the other hand a
"good self-image" (feeling
good about yourself) comes when you do what God instructs you to do whether you
feel like it or not. John 13:17 If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do
them.
Obedience is
the key to living a happy, well-adjusted life, not loving your self.
Let
me to add a P.S. to this message. There are multiplied thousands of people
around the world and perhaps right here who feel pretty good about themselves
and yet they are unsaved. Allow me to purposefully deliver a blow to your
self-esteem by getting you to see yourself from God's vantage point. Turn with
me to Ephesians 2:12 That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the
commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no
hope, and without God in the world: Without Christ you are without hope and
that's a fact! A meaningful life is only possible for those who have Christ as
Savior. True purpose and meaning in life only come to those who are committed to
Christ. 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 lays
it on the line -- But (because) of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us
wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption- 31 That,
according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.
Before we consider this, it is important to remember the
following –
1. The Bible neither
commands nor encourages self-love & self-acceptance but in fact restricts it
-- Luke 9:23-24
2. The Biblical view of
self teaches that Christians should neither think too highly of themselves nor
to lowly of themselves -- Romans 12:3
3. A positive self-image
can be deceiving because it neither saves a person nor makes him right with God.
An unsaved person with a "good self-image" will go to Hell. --
Ephesians 2:12
- Primary Root of An Incorrect Self-Image
Why
do people form unbiblical attitudes (unbiblical self-image) about themselves?
That is the issue that we will consider in this message.
The
earliest root revealed in the Bible of an incorrect or unbiblical self-image is dissatisfaction
with God (Gen. 3:1-7). Before we turn to that passage I want to lay the
foundation by reminding you that the Devil has it out for all mankind. 1 Peter 5:8
warns us,
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion,
walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Satan hates all people because we
were created in the image of God (Gen.1:27; 9:6). God created us to have fellowship
with Him, worship Him and serve Him (1 John 1:3; Psa. 96:9; Deut.
10:12). Satan resents that. His goal is to usurp God's position and God's
authority (Isa. 14:12-15). He wants to be worshipped. He wants to be served. One
way Satan accomplishes his diabolical goal is to stir up dissatisfaction with
God in peoples minds. This started way back in Eden with Adam, Eve & the
Serpent (Devil).
As
you are turning to Genesis 3:1-7, I
want to read Revelation 12:9 to you.
There are some who have called into question whether the serpent of Eden was
Satan. In this verse we see the various name that Lucifer, the fallen angel,
goes by -- And the great dragon was cast out, that old
serpent,
called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he
was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
Now,
back to Eden. Remember our focus. As I stated previously, the earliest root of
an incorrect or unbiblical self-image was dissatisfaction
with God. Here's why I said that. Eve became dissatisfied with God when she
listened to the Serpent (Satan). He convinced her that God had cheated her out
of something that was rightfully hers. Let's read the account. Once she became
dissatisfied with God, she rebelled against God's authority and established
herself as the authority and chose her will instead of God's will. We all know
what happened. Adam followed her lead and the whole human race was plunged into
sin. Specifically, Adam and Eve thought more highly of themselves than they
ought to have. They made themselves equal with God when they rejected His
revealed will and chose their own will.
- Other areas of dissatisfaction with God
Many
people develop an unbiblical self-image because they are angry at God. They
don't like their appearance. They are dissatisfied with their abilities.
They think surely God must have made a mistake when it came to the choice of the
family they were born into and besides that, they despise the circumstances
they find themselves in! The statement that sums up their attitude is -- God,
it's all your fault!
When
someone adopts this attitude do you see what has happened? They have adopted the
worlds standard for determining worth. And how does the world determine worth?
Think of that for a moment.
The standards by which our world determines worth
are...
BEAUTY & BRAWN
BRAINS & ABILITY
MONEY & POSSESSIONS
POWER
If
you are basing your self-worth on these things, likely you've got a pretty low
self-image! You're probably pretty ticked at God! But let me tell you something.
If you ARE basing how you feel about yourself based on beauty, brawn, brains,
abilities, money, possessions or power, you have been shopping at the Devil's
supermarket and you've bought and are eating rotten fruit! Have you ever bitten
into a piece of rotten fruit? I have. It looked good on the outside but when I
bit into it and got a mouthful, it is rotten inside. Do you know what I did? I
spit out the mouthful and threw the rest in the garbage. The problem is that
many people today are feeding on the Devils rotten fruit. They are dissatisfied
with God because they feel
God has cheated them in the area of beauty, brawn, brains, abilities, money,
possessions or power. Listen friends, these things don't mean anything in light
of eternity!
Let
me show you some things that can be very liberating.
- God does no have a universal ideal for outward looks. In fact, it is
not outward looks that He is even concerned about? Let's go to the scriptures.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the
height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man
seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the
heart.
Isaiah 53:2
For
he (Jesus) shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a
dry ground: he (Jesus) hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him,
there is no beauty that we should desire him.
Proverbs 31:30 Favour (charm,
sex appeal, popularity) is deceitful, and
beauty is vain (empty, passing): but a
woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Matthew 23:27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto
whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of
dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.
- God made
us as He saw fit, according to His will, to accomplish His purposes!
Ephesians 1:11
In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according
to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
Psalms 119:73 Thy hands have made me
and fashioned me: give me understanding, that I may learn thy commandments.
Psalms 139:13, 14&16
For
thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I
will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy
works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 16 Thine eyes did see my substance,
yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in
continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
Isaiah 45:9 Woe
unto him that striveth (quarrels, argues, complains) with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the
earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou? or thy
work, He hath no hands?
God's
does have a universal inward ideal that he is concerned about and desires that
we conform to.
Romans 8:29 For
whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image
of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Colossians 3:10
And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the
image of him that created him:
-
God has a purpose for whatever He does, our job is to serve & glorify
Him.
Exodus 4:11-12 And the LORD said unto him (Moses), Who
hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb (one who is unable to speak),
or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD? 12 Now therefore go,
and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is
made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take
pleasure in infirmities, in re- proaches, in necessities, in per-secutions, in
distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works,
which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
- It is not what other people think of you that matters.
It is not how you view yourself that really matters. It is the Lord's
approval that counts!
2 Corinthians 10:12
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with
some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by them-selves, and
comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. Simply
stated, measuring yourself by the worlds standards is foolish
2 Corinthians 10:17-18
But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. 18 For not he that
commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.
In
conclusion, dissatisfaction with God is at the root of an unbiblical view of our
self-worth. We must not evaluate our worth based upon the faulty standard of the
world but upon God's standard as found in the Bible. The facts is, that it is
only God's approval that counts!
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